After one and a half years of using blogger, I suddenly feel mature enough to move on to livejournal! Of course, I always thought LJ was for those elitist aristocratic upperclass writers who thought the world of their writing skills and decided that publishing posts in a non-response-friendly manner didn't matter anyway because thousands of people read their blogs. But seeing as my blog has now declined to under 15 views a day, I might change to LJ! Any opinions D:

FINARREEEEEE I CAN ACCESS THE WEB WITHOUT WORRY! But I'm still in China though D: and I don't feel like posting right now.

HI! Apparently this technologically advanced place blocks blogs, and the proxy hack doesn't allow me to view scripts, so SURPRISE SURPRISE I CAN'T SEE MY BLOG. But I can post, albeit the posting page is also screwed up. The "publish post" button is almost invisible.

GOODBYE WORLD AND ALL WHO INHABIT IT. I SHALL EXPAND WEASEL INFLUENCE TO YET ANOTHER CORNER OF THE GLOBE: CHINAAAAAA! I'll probably blog here and there though, depending on the pettiness of their firewall D:

New Age Literacy 101

My dad: Eh can you invite me to facebook?

Me: I thought you have facebook account already?

My dad: Ya but can you invite me?

Me: What do you mean?

My dad: As in invite me lah... so we can talk when you're in China"

Me: OH you mean friend request lah.

My dad: Aiya sama-sama lah.

Me: You request me lah I dunno which profile yours is.

My dad: Can't you search for email?

Me: Ya but which email do you use?

My dad: _________@___.com

Me: Oh.

*Next day*

My dad: I added you on facebook already go and check

Me: Okay

(I accept his friend request and see his profile. 2 friends including me LOL)

***(My dad reads my blog :D)

Dear Blog,

I am terribly sorry for neglecting you all this while, but there has been a jarring opera going on in my head that prevents me from stringing thoughts together coherently. I expect it has been caused by severe trauma from terrible grades attained at the End of Years. Perhaps hypnosis might pinpoint the root of this problem. Or a 6 week getaway to the very tranquilising country of hometown China.

I choose the latter.

Big Up.

Chao outside.

We talk so much about global perspective nowadays, how we should bridge the mutual differences between cultures, and facilitate cohesion to progress towards a global community. With all that talk, have we ever thought about what it means to be recognised as a planet?

In all the alien movies/whatever extraterrestrial trash there is out there, the aliens always seem to look exactly the same, speak exactly the same language. We, on the other hand, the supposed sentient beings of the universe, have vastly different skin tones, languages, cultural signage, etc. If ever an alien race were to discover our existence, they would be appalled at our audacity - a barely self-sufficient, weak race attempting to explore the universe. Naive.

And yet, we constantly bicker about how the human race should unite as a single entity ._.

NO MOTIVATION TO POST?

Okay since my com will be under repair tomorrow, I shall post my post-eoy post nao! One day early hohum. Bio paper tomorrow by the way.

Here goes.

BIO WAS SO EASY! I think I can get an A1++++ no problem! This is so funny!












Haha fat hope :(

geog tmrw! dai!

So far so okay :O I don't really have any feeling about the exams that just passed. Except maybe Chem die D:

Anyway before I go to beijing I'm thinking of changing this blog's blogskin o.o just in case I blogsurfing/viewing or posting some posty post then suddenly one china dude come up behind me "zhe shi shen me?" and decide to hug me or something. In which case I will probably become too traumatised to breathe for three whole days. That, my friends, is fatal.

Hooooweee. Long weekend to mug Geog, Maths and Bio :( Next Thursday is the signing of the Declaration of Independence :D

happy birthday my dear mother country >)

Ahhh FINALLY I have some time to myself. But I can't get a proper post done now. No time LOL. I have a ton of stuff at the back of my mind though. Try to splurt it here say, after EOYs.

And now we reach that time of year when blogposts become as scarce as black widow mice.

The Patient Finally Runs Out Of Patience
Hospital | Iowa, USA

(I am a phlebotomist and go around drawing blood at the hospital all day. I am drawing blood on the rehab floor where patients are generally doing well. I start to draw one patient’s blood when his wife runs into the room.)

Patient’s wife: “Oh my God! What are you doing?!”

Me: “I’m from the lab and I’m just getting some blood.”

Patient’s wife: “What?! Why?! What is wrong with my husband?!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is all pretty routine blood work.”

(Hearing the commotion, the nurse runs in.)

Nurse: “Ma’am, the insurance company asked we get this blood work since it has been awhile. I assure you nothing is wrong.”

Patient’s wife: “No, you’re lying! My husband is dying and no one will tell me why!”

(Suddenly, the patient himself speaks up.)

Patient, to wife: “D*** it! Sometimes I wish you were dying!”

I feel this strange urge to mug but I can't bring myself to do it. Hmm. The outer slacker is countering the inner mugger in me! Rats. Or mice.

WE REALLY GOT THIRD LOL :D

AND SO GRAND FINALS IS TOMORROW. WE DAI! Hopefully we can scrape something like say... maybe third prize or something. >)

Hi. I've been neglecting my blog too much D:

nice new post coming soon I promise

NOOOOO. The longest extension on my body that defines who I am JUST GOT CHOPPED AWAY. ALONG WITH MY DIGNITY. After cultivating it and paying special attention to it in the bath, and fingering it every now and then to make sure it's still okay, It is unnerving to brush my palm over the spot where it once was. Now I shall live in shame for the rest of 8 weeks before it grows back.










Darn you, barbers of Singapore :(

Oh no, I'm dead for school stuff again D:

At last, I have the time to do a proper post! But I don't have the inspiration, so damn.

But anyway, my MSG has improved! By 1 grade. from 3.18 to 3.09 LOL. I'm still gonna get rawred D: Maths B4 and IH C6 OHNO. But my Chinese halved its grade! From E8 to B4! Actually that's a bad thing, because when I'm campaigning for president of the Anti-China Movement in the future, some paparazzi idiots are gonna dig up my report cards and find that I ACTUALLY PASSED CHINESE FOR ONE TERM IN MY LIFE. And then I'll get assassinated or something.

Oh which reminds me, there's that stupid Beijing Satellite Campus (BSC for all you newbs out there) thing from Oct 26-Dec 6, which means I have to pon HHK performance (rats) and waste about 6 weeks of my life. The only consolation is that I might be going there with about 90% of my good friends. But then again, there's this rumour going around that the number of people who can go for the October slot is limited, and so if I don't get in I'm gonna tell the school admin that I don't want to go anymore! YAY!

But seriously, I get really stressed just by thinking about it for even a minute. I swear my heart rate increases by 20% everytime I hear or see a Chinese word. Which means that if for some reason I contract hypothermia, the best way to cure me would be to rattle off strings of Confucian philosophy. Sadly enough, this also means that being in Beijing for a full 6 weeks would cause blood to spurt out of the space between my fingertips and my fingernails. Oooh gorey. The upside is, by the time I get back to Singapore I'll have a sweet nail varnish job done which smells strangely like dried blood. Assuming, of course, that I haven't already died from lack of blood.

But anyway, enough of the mentally disturbing descriptions. It will be fun to go to China and prance around the street gaily singing nursery rhymes in English. Then the China people come up to you and say "ni zai shuo shen me?" and you can laugh in their face. Understandably, this will incite their wrath and before you know it a dozen exploding battery packs will be flying your way. Fortunately, China goods are heavily flawed and even malfunctioning battery packs might malfunction in their new function, and... not explode. So the worst injury you could possibly receive is a few bruises. Hoorah.

You know the way people complain about the state of other countries? Like "Man, if I went to China, I probably won't survive past the first day" Yeah I can empathise with that... Except that with me, it's "Man, if I went to China, half its population probably won't survive past the first day". Ah, all of you are probably thinking now "this weasel is talking bullcrap. I bet he can't even hold a knife the right way hahaha". But of course, you have made a terrible miscalculation. I need no physical weapon. I HAVE PSYCHIC ABILITY. MUAHAHAHAHA. I can scratch my finger across a map of China and a magnitude 9.8 earthquake will occur at that very spot. Fortunately, I'm still sane, so that isn't often the case. Often.

(: Or maybe I'll just punch a guy.

We got into the top 3 teams for the grand finals LOL. Stunning. Absolutely stunning. But that means we have some MEGA PREPARATION TO DO D:


On a side note, I went for MORE, a production by HCI EDC. Out of the 4 performances I have to say that the last one was the best lol... no wonder it's the SYF piece O_O The Chinese one I didn't understand, and the first two were marred by bad acting D: sorry werty. Teach your juniors better :D

Hee. Got owned at grand finals by the judges D: But we did our part already so it's up to fate what happens :D

Hohum.

Hey-ho. Went for litsem today. LOL I suddenly have this nice nostalgic feeling about CAP (sorry Carissa).

So hennyway, litsem was awesome as usual. Duh. Anything that starts with lit is obviously good. Except for lithium, lithuanasia, and whatever else along those lines. You get the point.

Chris Moonee Singh's (yes I purposely spelt that name wrongly because I didn't want random bloghits from people googling the guy) workshop was brilliant, even with the technical difficulties. Actually I heard afterward that he was quite pissed and said that if he couldn't conduct the workshop the way he wanted to, he preferred not to conduct it at all. But he did anyway, and it was awesomeness :O I SUDDENLY KNOW HOW TO WRITE POETRY LOL.

Yes yes, I know all you anxious readers out there are desperately craving for some fancy poetic works to satisfy your literary pallet. So, being the magnanimous soul that I am, I shall now share with you a work of utter brilliance that Celine and I spent a full 3 minutes on during the workshop.

The judge swings his mighty correction tape
BANG!
It sweeps ____ and forth
Over lines upon ____ of text
Choosing ___ selecting
Delete where applicable*
or justifiable*
or neither.





NOW IS THAT SHEER BRILLIANCE OR WHAT. Okay it isn't but still, 3 minutes for that is :D:D:D

Dum doo dee doo dum dum (stupid werty)

dumdeedeedoodumdum

Life is terribly twisted and unfair. It's not that I've just realised that; it's just that I've never really wanted to pollute my blog with random rants about how sucky the world is and whatever. In keeping with the record 300 consecutive non-emo posts that my blog has, this one shall not stray towards the overtly complaining side. However, it shall mellow down slightly from the usually bubbly tone, probably as a result of this scientific phenomenon known as the menstrual cycle.

And so, I failed Geography. This brings my Humanities score to a nicely scraped pass: 51%. And to think I studied the hardest I've ever done in three years for both History and Geography. Strangely enough, I could get an A1 with 1 and a half hours of studying last term, but couldn't even manage a pass with 3 hours of less notes this term. Hmm.

On the other hand, my project group got into the Grand Finals, thanks largely to Sec 4 team leader (hehe I don't think he reads this blog so there's no point posting his name as an acknowledgement). This essentially means more stress for us over the next few weeks leading up to the Grand Finals, and less time to mug D:

I suspect that if ever a bio practical were to be conducted on the effect of studying on my rate of doing well at tests, it would be similar to a temperature-enzyme activity graph. Past a certain amount of studying I start to denature and rapidly decline. Hmm. I must test this hypothesis.

Hoho. It seems my blog has died, along with my grades. Oh well.

TEST WEEK IS OVER! HURRAH. THREE CHEERS FOR MARTYRDOM. I flunked history, maths and about 9 other subjects. Oh, and project's day :O actually that was the most redeeming part of the week, I think. :D

So hennyway. Inspiration still escapes me at this point in time, so I'll leave it there D:

Oh and by the way, GEB litsem is next Saturday. And I'm presenting :O ALL THOSE WHOM I KNOW THAT ARE GOING BRING YOUR POM-POMS AND YOUR VOICES.

Imma die for tests tomorrow, the day after, the day after that, the following day, and the day after that again.

Wish me luck. Or don't. Things always have adverse, reverse effects whenever placed near me D:

I'm in a state of spasmodial overdrive after realising I have about 10 more tests, 2 of which start tomorrow. Oh, and also because I just watched Heroes.

I think maybe a twitter account would be useful, what with my recent cascade of super short posts :/

Hohoho I'm down with an unidentified illness. Warts on my fingers, rashes on my neck, pus cannons on my feet :O Oh, and did I mention a 40.2 degrees Celsius fever, vomiting every hour, spontaneous diarrhoea, and massive sneezes? LOL went to KKH today and the doctors couldn't even diagnose it. Seems like some kind of cross between H1N1 and hand foot and mouth D: Yay I'll be ponning school until the exams LOL good luck to me D:


































Okay, I'm kidding. I only have a 37.6 fever and diarrhoea. But ponning school for 6 weeks sounds fun D:

Okay lah werty since you want an excuse not to do homework I give you. NAH. Nao you tell tommiechern that you were reading my blog then can dun do essay.

Unlike werty, I shall do a proper movie review on G.I.Joe: Rise of cold bra as promised. Warning: spoilers ahead.

Big big spoilers.

First of all, there's two chiobus! AMAGAD I bet you could never have guessed from the trailers/movie posters right. Hurhur.







































And for the girls, there is CHANNING TATUM! :O In case you didn't know, he's some hot guy from the upcoming Fighting




































Okay, now that the tone has just been sweetened by eye candy, I shall move on to the real deal.

I've watched 3 blockbusters this holidays. Three of the most EPIC blockbusters, in fact. Number 1: Transformers 2. Number 2: Harry Potter 6. Number 3: G.I.Joe. Number 3 wins the other 2 HANDS DOWN AMAGAD.

This is a very interesting phenomenon. Transformers casts A list actors aka Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Shia Lebeouf + Maxim Hot 100 number 2 Megan Fox (I still think she's a transexual). Harry Potter 6 casts more A list actors aka Helena Bonham Carter, Ian McKellen, and our cute trio Daniel, Emma and Rupert. G.I.Joe casts B and C list actors, plus some I've never heard of before. Just look at the cast. The only really well known guy there is Dennis Quaid, and he plays a minor supporting role in the show. And Lee Byung-Hun as well lah, but I can never differentiate Korean names, sorry.

And for some strange reason, G.I.Joe simply owns Transformers and HP6. WHAI!

Okay, for HP6, the answer is simple. Movies developed from books are just NEVER GOOD ENOUGH. Remember Stormbreaker? 'Nuff said.

Now we can draw parallels between Transformers and G.I.Joe.

Transformers is an extremely high-budget movie sequel with dozens of the best special effects guys on earth. Transformers was the first movie to be allowed permission to shoot on actual Pyramid-infested Egyptian soil. Transformers has a scene in which CGI is used to augment certain areas of the female anatomy, and which is explicitly plastered all over trailers and the web. Transformers has enough explosions and gunfire to make Sar Dumb Hew Sayn (read that aloud; I had to censor it in case blogger decides to sue me for post-humous slander) look like a saint.

Now, on the other hand, G.I.Joe is a less-extremely high-budget movie PREQUEL with dozens of the second-best special effects guys on earth. It's soil is not actual Egyptian soil, but of the kind that you might find while walking around in World of Warcraft. G.I.Joe has a scene in which CGI is used to augment... nothing of the human anatomy. G.I.Joe has enough explosions and gunfire to... well it pretty much matches Star Wars in this aspect.

After much discussion, my brain and I have concluded that G.I.Joe owns Transformers 10000000:1 because of a few factors.

One: Transformers has absolutely NO plot. Okay, it does, but the plot is about as existent as the skeleton of an earthworm. HAH earthworms have no skeletons, got you there. G.I.Joe, on the other hand, DOES have a plot, albeit a rather thinly crafted one. The difference is, Transformers, as mentioned, is a SEQUEL, while G.I.Joe is a PREQUEL. Think Spiderman 2 and Exorcism:the Beginning.

Two: In Transformers, characterisation happens in the form of a headless chicken. The character(s) with the most depth is, for some reason, Starscream. Ironic, isn't it? The humans are robotic, while the robots are humanistic. How sad. G.I.Joe, luckily, doesn't have gigantic alien androids jumping around the place destroying more gigantic alien androids; it focuses more on HUMAN characterisation. The fight between good and innate evil in the form of nanomites. I like.

Three: In Transformers, the eye candy is so well known it's stale. Megan Fox? Oh, that's right, the transexual who's made it to the Maxim Top 100 list for as many times as my SMS count has gone overboard. Which is 2, by the way. And look over on the G.I.Joe side. Sienna Miller, you may have heard of: she is the Victoria person in Stardust. Ah, but who is Rachel Nichols? I'm not going to tell you. Google is your best friend.

Conclusion: G.I.Joe > Transformers. Period.

That post was longer than I expected :O

I watched G.I.Joe today with espada. Shall blog about it tomorrow :O very tired nao.

I don't know why, but I have this nagging feeling in me that I have a dumpyard full of homework just WAITING to be incinerated.

(After English functional writing common test, in which we were given an article on a terrorist attack on a third world country, and we were supposed to roleplay the President of said country. The article is contrasted by a propaganda press release by this activist group called New World)

Brion: Eh crap I die liao. I thought the "denounce" in "denounce the actions of the terrorists" means the opposite of "announce", which is keep quiet, so I didn't write.

All: WTF BRION.

Brion: Lol shyt. Eh then when the New World media thing sympathise with the terrorists, means I also have to sympathise with the terrorists right?

All: BRION ARE YOU STUPID.

Brion: Huh? But then I thought the New World thing means all first-world countries what.

All: ... *dies*

Brion: Wait but then the article say that we abuse the terrorists because they minority, and one guy died under interrogation.

All: BRION DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS PROPAGANDA?

Brion: Oh shit.

Ah. INSPIRATION. :(

Hurrah. I have just given a post its first proper title. Now we shall see if this blogskin of mine displays titles.

So, anyway.

In anticipation to craft my long overdue English essay, I shall BLOG. Yes, the marvels of blogging. One can not only reminisce the past, but warm up to unleash his writing potential!

Crap I sound like an idiot.

But, no matter. Yesterday, I survived 2 hours of the latest Harry Potter movie. I feel an accomplished man. All in all I suppose it was a rather charming movie, not good, but not dreadful either *hinthinttransformers*. At least this movie had a PLOT, albeit a sketchy one. But then again, my judgment might be skewed (L5 for purpose and author intent) as I had read the book prior to watching the film. Hmm.

For once, I have no intention to string together a story with lame jokes and puns on the various books in the Harry Potter Septology. Although I HAVE been generating one inside my head.
Hint: the Chamber of Secrets is comparable to a nostril. Guess what the Philosopher's Stone is.

I want to be maniacal for once.

Brilliant.

I've recently been getting really short of stuff to blog about. If you haven't already noticed, my posts have largely degenerated to the norm of everyday life and events. Sadly, THIS SHOULD NOT BE THE CASE.

On the other hand, I don't really want to start a random fantasy series out of nothingness and post chapters and chapters that show off my descriptive ability. It would just make me seem embarrassingly lonely and delusional. Yes, I know you are all thinking somewhere along the lines of "but the weasel IS delusional anyway. I mean, he even thinks he's psychic!" Unfortunately for the both of us, I DO believe that self depreciating humour works for the better good most of the time, as it provides laughter for you, and a massive ego boost for me.

By that, I do not acknowledge that I am not psychic. I still am.

But back to the point. I am seriously at a shortage of topics to post about. Constantly reminiscing the past day or week only makes me realise my own mortality. Deleting a post is akin to erasing a memory from my mind D: on the other hand, blogging random intangible topics gives me a sense of exhiliration at knowing that I have successfully put an idea onto paper! Or bytes. Whichever. But still, all this philosophy DOES have its merits... be it an A1 in Literature, or an E8 in Chinese for efficiently making use of time to blog rather than do homework.

I should have joined Raffles. They have philosophy as a subject. It's probably the only subject where you can stare into blank space for an hour with an empty piece of paper in front of you. The teacher comes over to ask why you're dreaming, and you respond by telling him/her that a picture speaks a thousand words. Then you watch him/her revel in awe at your depth of thought and creativity.

I BET YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT. SEE? THAT'S PRECISELY WHY I BLOG ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS. Abstractness is key to the future.

欢迎到我的部落客站
走之前，请留一个信息
请不要在cbox上面写任何坏话
不然你会被阻止来我的部落客站
谢谢,请享受你在这里的时刻!

名字:中国人
3H3班级, 2009年
华侨中学,中学部
教徒
并且更多...

Msn: woaizhongguo@hotmail.com
Friendster: zhong guo ai wo

中国人
中国国歌
中国产品
中国牛奶
中国国旗